Should my friend go to the funeral? need some advice?

my best friend had 2 kids with her ex husband, she has recently married, but the ex husbands younger brother has passed away, but her new husband does not want to attend as its the ex husbands family, she is not that close to the family and her and her ex husband parted on bad terms, should the new husband go to support his wife or does she even need to go

bereavement ( should I stop beating myself up)?

My mother died two weeks ago
five weeks before I’d told her I didn’t wont any more contact, she had always been very selfish of her own emotional needs.
thinking rationally I feel ok’ish , she always made me feel guilty its how she controlled me.
So its like she dug this deep well of guilt into me , and that’s what i’m connecting with.
I don’t seem to have a good memory of her, she was not really compassionate to others around her, she had had a terrible child hood,and i’m not trying to make excuses for her, and wont.

I had for most of my life been her emotional support , I had no choice in that, In the end I had found a voice and had said no more, she would have pulled me down with her.
she was very toxic .
Like I have said I feel rational ,I’m relieved I no longer have to do it any more.
I don’t want to deny the process of grieving , I didn’t like the women, but she was my mother.
Is it that I feel ok with her dying , I had given up on having a better relationship with her, feel thats not really true , there wasn’t really any room for me in our relationship

Is the guilt because I don’t mind her going , the loss of it being different between us .
what do you all think ?